Detente : le slam de Anne Roumanoff

Pour commencer cette semaine une vidéo de Anne Roumanoff sur les régimes. Un peu d’humour et de detente ne peut pas faire mal avec ce slam du régime. Avec son style particulier , les régimes sont un peu mis à mal avec beaucoup de poésie .

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgSwjBN0EWo]

 

 


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Regime : blague

 

Blague régime fido

J’étais hier dans une grande surface dont je tairais le nom (pour éviter toute publicité) pour acheter un gros sac de croquettes car je possède deux gros chiens très gourmands (Uno et GLuc), puis j’attendais en caisse pour payer.

Une dame qui attendais et devait s’ennuyer un peu me pose la question :

–          « Vous avez un chien ? »

Un peu dans les nuages je lui réponds :

-«  Non je recommence mon régime  Fido. Je sais que je ne devrais pas car la dernière fois j’ai terminé à l’hôpital. Mais ce régime est tellement efficace, rendez vous compte j’avais perdu 30 kgs. Mais le souci c’est que me suis retrouvé aux soins intensifs tubé de partout. »

En voyant cette dame qui commençait à gober mon histoire j’en rajoutais une couche :

-« ce régime est facile et pas cher. Le principe est simple, dès que la faim montre le bout de son nez vous piochez une poignée de croquettes que vous avez préalablement mises dans votre poche. »

Puis mon histoire semblait fasciner toutes les personnes présentes dans la file d’attente je continuais donc :

-«  Il est marqué sur l’emballage de cette nourriture qu’elle est complète alors tant pis je vais réessayer. »

La dame qui m’avait posé la question horrifiée me dit :

« Mais vous prenez un risque énorme, vous avez déjà été intoxiqué par cette nourriture et vous avez fini à l’hôpital. C’est tout de même un régime risqué. »

J’ai répondu :

-« Mais non, j’étais assis au milieu de la rue en train de me lécher les fesses quand un camion m’a percuté. »

devenez affilie
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